fool

lay it down, lord. lay it down.
forever and forever. nice and easy now. slip it on in.
awakening into the world dream the clown laughs at remembering being here now sitting before the computer typing not p0em thinking about understanding everything.
as if.
as if it might ever be possible. he laughs again. this is so silly an absurd thing to be experiencing. but it can be a drag at the same time. flip flop back and forth sideways upside down. whatever makes sense in the moment. everything is true/false. romeo knows. the clown is hungry but doesn’t wanna eat nothing. contemplating navel. anxious energy. he poops. a real stinker. enough to gag a dead horse. or maybe not. maybe interstellar overdrive. let’s get outta here. squawking chicken head deep under water. this isn’t as fun as it used to be. museum diner installation. those were the days. before forever war. it knocks once and never again. tough luck nobody’s home anymore. the wishing wells are overflowing. someone call the police!
nincompoop 420.
jet fuel cannot melt steel.
just as we are thinking about understanding everything we are transported toward oblivion and that whole reality scheme. the clown has a headache, he needs more coffee. justice is such sweet revenge when we can convince ourselves we are correct in our daily assumptions. amen.
but as we are struggling to comprehend the meaning of everything more so than its particular composing substances we choose to be amused by whatever we may decide its manifestations might symbolically represent to us.
a temporary flowering of daffodils as spring slowly comes upon the scene as winter loses its grip – logically of course. everything is logical, isn’t it?
the spectacle continuing though we never see it until we step outside it. all the doors are opening if we weren’t afraid. psychophobia. solid beat of the drum. dance march. nuclear war. savage planet. who let the zombies out? what happened to the 13th century? it’s a long lost secret now. the wealthy never pay their bills. we shall not speak of that however true or false it may be. erotic colored lighting the stage while distorting human figures flow from one another in abstractions of systematic sympathy. the burning theater is alive tonight of all nights when memories are dark from the horrors of our soul on fire. go, daddy, go!
situational ethical suicidal asparagus.
wake up to the smell. pick it up some more though all that counts is $$$. everything you can sell is all you’re worth.
choose to ignore the oblivious. everything we might understand about everything in a mustard seed. truth in shadows we seek the cold light of dawn. ok.
freaks alone together unknowing of each other’s company which could number millions or billions or just one hidden within oneself not sure whatever everything might be with the others we are surrounded by the millions and billions.
what a mess of confusion and paranoia for perhaps good reason. it is awareness of the secret situation we are faced with day to day hidden by the masks we wear which is nothing but yesterday’s news.
is there good news? is there the truth? what the fuck do we know? the good news is… what?
everything a dream away that might mean anything. we got ours, fuck the rest who ain’t got nothing. it is cruel and unusual but so is everything to more or less degrees of uncertain possibility. recognizing our defective nature to ourselves with twisting turning promises broken in our face.
we witness nothing in this world worth saving but they take such pride in. their history of violent greed to take everything from us for themselves.
so, we stand against the tide against us in the shadows of our doubt. what is in or outta our minds? we cannot judge for ourselves but are judged by others who haven’t learned to mind their own fucking business.
the clown sitting before the computer as is his fate of late typing not p0em compulsively thinking about how everything means anything we might believe it does. here we go. we believe the weirdest shit sometimes.
what we believe anything is and what it means otherwise. what it is would seem to depend on the thing itself. what it means would seem to depend on what we interpret what it is. or something like that.
poetic license is the rule for meaning. we get it confused with being often enough. but what is being without meaning? sterile logic.
he becomes tired. weary. wary. so much against him most of the time. solipsistic sisyphus. so much of himself against him.
he drives home.
he naps.
awakening to coffee, toke, cigarette, feeling better about the situation discovering himself in thinking of being and meaning.
a toad is a toad but some may feel it means evil while some feel it means good for whatever reasons on earth in a zillion years rationalogic will not explain, nor does it need to, nor should it.
we have irrationalogic for that, if we want. if we choose not to believe it means going insane. it is disapproved and dismissed by the others as a matter of fact and fiction.
few will understand what we are doing here if any. we don’t make secrets of it. how could we, it’s obvious, isn’t it? as the rain is falling hard.
though we understand more than it may appear to be that we are idiots. the clown continues typing what we tell him to. we are legion and have taken over his mind awhile. gazorbnik!
let this be a lesson to you. don’t worship satan, not even once.
a full bright rainbow appears outside the window.
we know what it is but what does it mean?
he lights another cigarette. media star personality explains how we are to think. he can hear her from the other room. he turns up the music – atom heart mother.
that’ll do it. he one of the last of our kind. he is one of a kind. he is one. he is i am. he is 0. being popular is too much like work. save it for the losers. his primal being is disturbing. it gets in the way much of the time. what does this mean?
it means bullshit.
he thinks about 0. infinitesimal pinpoint center of everything that was is will be possible – even impossibility and/or imaginary.
everything has this distinction – even over the gods. even over fate. does everything have will in and of itself? is there everything in and of itself? would it then contain itself? tricky questions people have gotten themselves lost in to find answers that fit. nevermind.
but does it not contain itself? what else would it contain? but reasoning this way is too rationalogic for us. is there gestalt to everything? does it become a entity beyond out of itself?
maybe – or not.
would this entity be god? does everything act independent from itself (every-thing)? does it add up? probably not. oh well.
the clown laughing strokes his beard in wonder. how absurd it becomes. is absurd the answer? one of the answers perhaps. there seem to be so many these days when a single absolute answer won’t do it no more among those who understand better. the few and far between it would seem.
we witness the rest in their confusion looking for singular meaning known as truth. that is their only comprehension. how they argue and fight when it is found people believe in many truths each believing theirs is the only one possible to their mono-thinking minds.
and all that yadda blah blah thing.
the clown don’t do too much thinking beyond his limited understanding. around in spiraling circles lazy patterns across the universe he has little faith in actually being real but a thing of imagination.
a peanut butter bacon sandwich.
it’s medication time!
let the earth be flat for all he cares. it changes nothing.
it’s all fake anyways.
he blows his nose.
he naps.
awakening without wanting to be awake.
rather he would sleep 1001 years.
that would be nice. coming back then to find the world changed but humans not so much. still fussing and fighting among ourselves over truth and other bullshit like that and then some. such a stupid meaningless waste. our primal instincts still in command of our reason.
this eternal life of nothing worth a goddamn. why do we suffer through it while there are other alternatives so much easier, yes? but we pride ourselves on our supposed freedom while we are in chains to one another push and pull. and as long as there is dependency it will be the same of have and have-not. suck on that, suckers!
who lifts us up out of this quagmire but ourselves as we each come to understanding? the slippery slope indeed.
and so we don’t think high thoughts. they don’t think common thoughts. they believe themselves as gods among us. they don’t know the 1st thing.
god itself doesn’t know the 1st thing sitting its ass on a golden throne in heaven. it possesses what it has stolen from what ought to be rightfully ours.
the clown chuckles. 0 still in his head buzzing like a bee about to sting. it could mean anything. 0 begins and ends everything. so much has come and gone. life of denial. life of decay. nothing to show for any of it in the end. we move on.
people are stupid thinking. listening to them is painful. listening to the thoughts in our head is painful. he thinks how he’d like a pizza.
crawling giant bugs across the floor but they are not there, are they? let’s tell ourselves they aren’t so we can get back to sleep.
everything continuing from no beginning toward no end. something has to. but what is its basic structure and substance? does it have any that we would understand? are we asking the wrong questions?
a process of transformation. nothing is the same anymore. smart as a clam. we ease back into it slowly but are very soon thrusting faster faster until we explode out of ourselves all over the place. what the devil?
let them imagine the world.
let them imagine the universe.
we imagine everything we can dance to.
always in dreams of how it ought to be for our amusement. but we are amused now. this world producing mountains of garbage for profit. hahaha. look at us go! sheesh…