whatever we might want to believe.
can we choose?
based on what?
was hitler right?
and if someone beats us over the head?
entanglements of heart and mind.
struggling to reach god.
it’s a race to the finish.
it’s war in every sense to the very bitter end.
some fight with guns while some fight with words.
the search for meaning and truth.
always some self-justifiable motives.
why is it always settled by those who are the biggest pricks?
those who do not seem to know right from wrong.
what is the difference between right and wrong?
is it always might makes right?
who has the time for reason?
there’s $$$ to be made.
those who grab the most win the game while they lose themselves in the process of acquisition while we lose the game in a process of elimination.
he gazes out the window at the surrounding trailer park paradise, cuz it is what it is perfectly.
perfection exists all around us everywhere everywhen in everything.
we are spellbound with wonder.
nothing else tastes as sweet or bitter than to us now in this world.
it is its design by happenstance.
spin the wheels one more time.
in through the out door.
back to i am if need be.
we never felt the need that much aside from understanding how it might be possible.
but we are of the world and in the world for better or worse.
that is the chance we take – the chance of fate.
knowingly or not we choose to be here.
the best and worst of all possible worlds.
all patch worked together into an entangled mixed up confusing mess it seems often at times.
until we come to understand it for what it is – if we can ever determine what that is.
it is it?
what else is there to know?
everything.
everything is as we perceive it to be until we discover it is not.
will this go on forever until the end of time?
will it ever reach a conclusion as rationalogic hopes it does?
what is our purpose then?
poof into oblivion?
perhaps.
irrational as pi and then some.
never ever quite the same each time around around it goes.
infinity?
what’s that?
does everything need to be infinite?
would we know the difference if it is or isn’t?
do there need to be heroes?
is it just a product of competition?
a competitive world.
each all of us against the others.
until it comes down to little murders.
enigmatic puzzles for us to figure out.
about ourselves and others and the whole thing of it.
such is our madness.
we take them apart.
we put them together in other ways.
for the heck of it.
just to see what might happen next.
how does it work?
how does it not work?
what’s the difference?
he chooses neither/both.
this gets him nowhere (now here).
same as it ever was is will be.
yet nothing is quite as we expect.
what a drag if it was.
he naps.
awakening.
coffee, toke, cigarette.
a dream of a life.
a dream of everything.
god does play dice with the universe.
how else does it get its kicks?
surprised laughing.
god with all “positive” attributes.
an anti-god with all the “negative”.
a likely story.
rudimentary binary thinking.
on/off logic.
how strange.
more coffee.
another toke.
another cigarette.
arguing don’t mean shit.
no one agrees with anything anyone has to say.
so what?
when words turn into weapons.
oh boy.
gonna have us some fun.
the yin yang within the yin yang kinda thing – etc.
it’s medication time.
he just doesn’t want anyone bugging him.
he tries not to bug people.
if he does he’s polite about it.
kids these days don’t know polite from nothing.
it’s a shame.
I [am] leaning toward a whole new theory that photons activate the equivalent of nuclear energy and that we are not living in a world flooded with energy but rather coding for the smallest of ‘nuclear reactions” I actually doubt it is nuclear except that the nucleus immediately will know that one of its adherent electrons is interacting with an electron. I am looking at mirrors and ambient light as a flood of code now and it is making sense – lex loeb.
picking at the scabs of dead skin on the back of his head he continues ragas ringing hunched over the keyboard typing out a not poem about our theory of everything and such on and on people get ready mind shift/ship coming down fast squeeze sideways through cracks in reality tick tock as if maybe possibly someone is watching from afar up close too soon after sitting playing bongos in the dirt.
a chocolate muffin.
wind and rain cold dark night.
pet the kitty.
he sleeps.
awakening.
coffee, toke, cigarette.
continuing not poem.
what has he not explained before?
what does a mouse have to do with everything?
without the mouse everything would not be everything?
perhaps.
an infinite number of mice?
possibly.
what do we have to do with everything?
it would seem not much at all.
everything in the world is so important.
our survival as a species.
ritual behavior chanting mantras.
get ahead of the game.
just like a mouse.
just like any particle or galaxy.
where are our heads at?
it’s medication time.
every possible location of spacetime.
infinity.
1 > infinity.
why?
because.
food, clothing, shelter.
simple.
we make it so much more complex with our greed.
nature, nurture, indoctrination.
mouth breathers.
the great unwashed.
suckers.
a living hell.
a living heaven.
our fate and our ignorance lead us to our destination.
he hits the inhaler.
but our destination is forever – forever changing.
if he has a choice he chooses neither/both as waves of eternal vibrations.
if he has choice it is not free choice but choice under the influence of any number of factors internally externally.
can we ever be free of them?
probably not and still exist.
ain’t nothing happening but existence – being.
the being of the universe.
gestalt cosmic consciousness.
god and not god.
what does it matter?
but we argue and fight.
our consciousness a flashing reflection in a maze of mirrors.
synaptic.
happenstance synchronicity of meaning.
he doesn’t know what’s going on.
never felt like he had to so much.
managed not paying attention.
beat the system of competition by always losing.
general fuck up.
while thinking about everything – and nothing.
following instructions as they astrally psychically come to mind.
as he perceives the universe.
ergo the universe exists.
he doesn’t need to prove it becuz he knows it since he could possibly be all that exists as i am.
yet he doubts that.
why not everyone else?
why not everything else?
why not a mad god laughing screaming alone in the void inside his head?
what does that represent?
what meaning does it have?
what he doesn’t know could fill all the volumes of writing printed and digitized in the world at every moment.
all the truth and all the lies at once.
using our imagination and reason to sift through it as we perceive and experience it.
as we think about it and whatever the fuck it might be that we still do not know even with our gods and technology.
SEX.
we probably cannot maintain our present state for too much longer.
so a new world may evolve from it for those who survive.
though we doubt this.
we do not see how it could ever happen.
not as we are.
perhaps as we become.
peace, love and understanding.
it is not a viable product with any market value – $$$.
except printed on t-shirts and posters and sung in songs for the gullible masses.
it’s medication time.
no one hears the vegetables screaming?
it’s driving us mad.
poor suffering creatures for our consumption.
death is everywhere eaten by the living.
privileged principles of ego superficially removing itself from the earth it destroys.
it becomes a philosophy – one that gives wealth and power to those who wield it correctly.
a philosophy of rationalogic thinking absolving itself with its ideal of objectivity.
and true enough it does these things for some.
yet we abstain.
it’s too much like work.
mystic mumbo jumbo la-dee-da.
crazy hats and the whole get up.
where are we going?
the mind shift/ship gazorbnik going anywhere nowhere everywhere bending through the spacetime universe thing a bit sideways discovering everything hoochie-coo.
if we think about it.
if we imagine it.
we are dreamers of the world.
we created it with all our wild ambition for immortality.
come again?
the immortal is the moment.
no beginning nor end.
flavorful excitement explodes celebrating.
our mission complete.
we are now free to die.
be no more.
but is that possible given what we know about everything?
let’s go ask the doctor.
a knock on the door.
who is it?
we are them.
we have arrived.
let’s eat.
for everything to be ever amazing and surprising.
and we to be ever amazed and surprised.
to enjoy what the gods cannot becuz they fucking already know everything.
we are socially obtuse.
in our heads outta our minds.
identity abduction.
who am us?
what can we prove?
i am?
can we be sure?
to hoodwink the most people is to be correct.
we hoodwink ourselves with gazorbnik.
it’s the only way of pathless paths without destinations but the journey itself.
until we drop down dead.
still with countless questions in our head.
still with no answers to be found that do not provoke more questions.
the silence that surrounds us within and without.
like falling snow.
like we are not here.
we are shipwrecked and broken.
on a beach of an island in the eye of a storm raging on an otherwise calm sea.
the sea is humanity.
from here we begin again divorced from former realities that seem now as if a dream.
dreaming about everything we might possibly dream.
the far reaches of our imaginations into deeper mysteries.
uncharted except by hopeless madness.
just wait till cars drive themselves – guru jeff.
we wander inland through the forest of dreams where a monster is rumored to live.
to the garden where it is rumored to have begun.
the spell of the knowledge of good and evil lifting from our hearts and minds.
a taste of coconut milk and turmeric.
the smell of rosemary.
it’s a shame all has to die.
the dream is over.
it’s medication time.
he sleeps.
awakening.
coffee, toke, cigarette.
outside looking in.
people pretending their shit don’t stink.
no one has the guts to leave the temple.
a kick in the pants.
it’s all entanglements of lies and fabrications.
perplexing.
no way around it but through it.
slave labor employed to bring us our chocolate treats.
to bring us just about everything.
trinkets and gizmos galore.
everything beyond reason.
group hug.
grunt.
gazing into as much of everything we are able to perceive with our senses this raining morning out the window.
stimulation.
imagining much more so as we might fancy.
anything we can get away with.
nothing forbidden, everything permitted.
the ground rules.
do what thou wilt from there.
here we are.
cyber-linking in a cloud.
still one against another.
more coffee.
he loads the dishwasher and turns it on.
not the goal of everyone to reach godhead.
some are satisfied here now in the material or whatever mundane world we are encased in against our will perhaps.
what is our will?
is it free?
is it enough to recognize the influences upon our will before acting accordingly?
action/reaction kinda thing.
phony baloney.
psy-ops.
we are them.
who?
and everything at once goes on and on in an instant.
a blinking wink of an eye.
on/off.
option 1.
option 2.
option cow.
we have been warned.
we only have ourselves to blame.
blame for what?
all possibilities arising from our actions bound by fate into karma.
we create what we desire and what we fear.
but still we have been guided by gods that watch over fools.
nothing to sneeze at.
what great buffoons some of us become.
unknowing.
sealed with a kiss.
trite plagiarisms.
another cigarette.
nothing original.
language has been stripped of meaning.
ideas looping in his head around around.
will they allow him to smoke in heaven?
gazorbnik 