space age pink cadillac

arf!
easy does it.
repetitive thoughtcrime.

morality: doing what is right regardless of what you are told to do.
obedience: doing what you are told to do regardless of what is right.
– guru jeff.

what is right?
is it right for them to harm you, or is that what they have been told?
is it right for you to harm them, or is that what you have been told?
yes/no/maybe.
that’s not our problem.

our problem is the klown typing not p0em continuing endlessly from now until then about make-believe fantasies about life and everything else as it may fit into his schemes as terrible as it may seem to the normal reader.
gonna have a party and have a good time – yeah yeah.
that’s what many people seem to believe is happening.
maybe it is, maybe it’s not.
maybe it’s all in outer space as the klown sucks on a cinnamon gummy bear inuendo.

limitless infinity, always room for 1 more as it would seem.
1 more possibility.
but what is that to us in the here and now?
nothing but a dream?
it could be.
it could be anything.
a duck gently stirring the calm water on a pond in the imaginary city on an island of holy ghosts.

shhh.
no talking.
just telepathic agreed upon reasoning.
if you dare to take the extreme course that may result in nothing more than a damn.
what’s that worth?

to be put out on the open market as if any exists, but for somewheres.
think about it for a while, then you do it.
think about it again, and you change your mind.
the noises on psychic waves spiraling out from every center – (±0).

glory be to everything.
blessed be.
hee hee hee.

become alive and free.
what does that mean?
the butterfly is free to mate itself to death.
it is it.

9]
shuffling off to buffalo don’t mean anything to you as shallow as you are, but who are we to judge?
we’re old fucks.
oh fuck.
greasy faced stumble bums out for a joy ride until something goes wrong from their point of view crashing snarling into a snowbank or 2 along the way toward unknown perhaps unknowable paradise.

something’s going on.
who’s behind it all?
is it you?
how do we determine if or if not when everything is a lie except what we accept as the truth?

your feet will take you where your heart is – guru jeff.

no one alive knows what death is.
we can only speculate.
do we blink out ceasing to exist forevermore?
is there existence beyond?
yet our speculations are felt to be divine revelations to many who form mass religions of belief.

and so what should we contemplate and wonder about?
something like a flea?
something like a god?
something like a river?
what?

the klown is in wonder about everything; that is what the not p0em is about.
to be amazed by everything, true and false.
spinning plates zigzag beneath the waning 1/4 moon or some such floating with the clouds.
a rocket in your pocket to mars.
oven-baked magick.

let’s hear it for the future!

let’s not forget

ΑΩ

the klown has trouble breathing in these waning years toward the new moon there is nothing but mystery.
typing not p0em into the computer before him sending his words into the cloud for whatever that’s worth.
maybe everything.
maybe nothing.
who knows?

don’t count him dead yet as he proceeds wondering about what the burning theater might represent.
the show must go on whether anyone knows what they are expected to do in any way they might do it.
some strictly follow the script while others freely improvise.
this is the burning theater, don’t forget it.

why must it all come to this?
what else is it supposed to be?
a world of joy and sorrow.
every moment counts.
join in while you still can.
every woman child man.
don’t hesitate, we could be gone tomorrow.
then where will you be?

the light comes and goes along with darkness.
the simple concept of opposites, and a constant addiction to drugs.
not everything is on and off at the same time.
how boring that would be, just like heaven.
heaven in our minds.

the music playing is outta key and outta synch.
people laughing and screaming, and dancing.
what’s the difference?
nightmare begone, you have nothing more to teach us.
we wanted to be everything.
we wanted cheese and crackers.
the trains still don’t run on time.
lucky for us cuz we’re always late.

back when everything meant something and everyone agrees what it is.
is this possible?
probably not.
let it go.

back when people freely killed one another for aggravated just cause.
and because they wanted to.
now they want us to believe we are above that sorta thing these days in spiritual realms of glorified enlightenment.
we convince ourselves without reason that we might divide good from evil.
it’s like dividing up from down.
but such that it is.
think about it, would ya?

shoot anyone who disagrees with you.
you are such a high moraled individual, along with all the others.
your right is might.
daddy o’ daddy o’ daddy, be true to you.
a dream come true the whole night through when darkness rules until comes the day as it should and all is good.

acrobatic maneuvers is the plan few are aware.
you must trick them into submission to all new ideas.
that’s the ticket.
they will not remember anything else for generations if at all.
this has all been foretold.
let’s not forget.

um… what?

awakening from a long long sleep.
he makes tea.
a toke.
a cigarette.
thinking about everything sideways.

monkeys.
nothing but monkeys.
living in a trailer park in an area of town commonly referred to as felony flats.
life on the other side of this life.
digging it.
if you’re not digging it then why are you doing it? – guru jeff.

choice is not always an option.
fate delivers what it will.
nature nurture karma thing having its part in the mixed up mix of ourselves.
everything is as it is according to certain sets of given parameters that create the illusion of this world as reality.
at the center of an infinite universe.

things in his head that are irrelevant to anything.
things in his head that make anything irrelevant.
it’s all love and fear and loathing.
it’s all radiating in cosmic waves throughout the universe.
what do we know?
what does he know about what we know?
what do we know about what we know?
everyone processing all sorts of information worldwide from scribbling on paper to massive computer networks.
what does it all mean?
gazorbnik, that’s what.
hahaha.
nobody gets it but us.
there’s a few more surprises yet to come.
hang on to your fright wigs, people.
full speed down a rocky road straight to heck.
not even hell will have us.
we are them.

he lights another cigarette.
thinking deep shallow thoughts.
it’s all he knows having not been paying attention when he should have been nor does he still.
lack of interest.
he’s not into shit like other people are into shit.
just into everything as much as he can grasp with his simple mind.
he figures that’s enough.
cold and rainy day.
he’s not all here now.
that’s the thing of it.
one of the things of it.
it is it.
it consciousness.
the primordial spark of being.
it comes and goes.
changing changelessness.
action through inaction.
e=mc².
and all that jazz.
and he needs to sleep again.
and there’s dishes to put into the machine.

late after a nap –
and there so many people who just don’t understand one another.
or understand one another far too well.
he understands and does not understand.
nor do many understand themselves.
he has little understanding of himself either.
the sun is out now.
bipolar weather.
spring.
what to doubt and what not to doubt.
a bullet can end the world.
put it out of its misery.
zoom in on the world and see all the needless suffering when there is pain enough already.
interesting.
zoom out into blissful oblivion.

a rotten fallen tree laying taking root as its branches unfurl themselves upward.
eternal life.
everything in fluctuation.
new life from old.
observe.
understand.
understand the anger and hatred there is among us.
anger and hatred of each other and the deeper anger and hatred of ourselves.
understand that within ourselves.
understand that within each other.
everything is change.
everything is redundant.
typing out whatever comes to mind at the moment into a not poem about our theory of everything.
the blues come to town.
time of non-thought.
another cigarette.
sleep.

awake again.
the drama continues with the problems he tries to stay out of.
he has no idea how they might be resolved except people just chill out getting so excited.
we are our own undoing.
he thinks about how he will not remember any of this.
it’ll all be gone as if it never was.
so why bother with any of it?
let it go its own way.
he doesn’t know anything else he might be able to do about it.
not with these people as they are.
not with himself as he is.
what’s the point?
no one gives a shit.

people are weird.
he’s never been able to quite figure them out what they’re about very much why they do this or that or the other thing and on and on.
seeking a place to hang their hat where when it’s cool.
becoming bored with that and seeking fun and excitement until that becomes too much.
around around they go.
the nature of the beast.
he’s never been able to figure himself out either why he does this or that or the other thing cuz it seems like the thing to do at the time.
people destructive to themselves and each other.
he can barely tolerate the vibrations of despair and suffering emanating from them constantly when he is out among them.
so he mostly stays at home with himself and his baby and the fat black cat.

he doesn’t trust people much.
they are not reliable in the condition they are in always wavering and arguing about everything there is.
he reaches for his own peace, love and understanding as he might find it however he will or won’t as it comes and goes as waves on a beach of an island in the eye of a storm raging on an otherwise calm sea.
the sea is humanity.
this is where he imagines himself watching the waves roll in and wash out as they will and waiting for an eternity in a moment.
all things must pass as is their nature.
nothing really exists anyway so what does it matter?
it matters not.
ever-flowing kaleidoscope of diamond light and shadow images mesmerizing us into a dream where everything is real.
how absurd.
he laughs at the thought of this being.
everything is absurd.
everything is nothing.
nothing is everything.
the answer is a riddle.
it’s in our mind.
our mind over matter.

and he should know about these things he questions.
if he paid more attention perhaps.
or he should have known instinctively from birth.
we shouldn’t be left abandoned here in ignorance about things it is important that we understand for our wellbeing and wellbeing of others.
but how else do the gods find their amusement but through our antics they gaze from afar?
all could be and should be different.
all equal to all.
none above another.
but that’s not how it is.
that’s how it will never be.
being all through it as much as his simple mind can fathom and he doesn’t get it.
he’ll never understand ever it seems to him now.
he could gain enlightened godhead this instant and still be a dumb fuck as much as always.
he holds no hope for that.

he is lost.
he is found.
he doesn’t know which.
sometimes it seems one and sometimes seems the other.
how is one to tell?
life is the same either way as not being fair.
boo-fucking-hoo.
he is not complaining as much as he just doesn’t understand.
he sees no way to it though there are those who promise answers but you have to get involved in their whole groupthink trip of whatever and of course give them $$$.
110% commitment.
devotees devoted to devotion.
he’s not been much into that sort of thing mostly.
it makes him feel silly.
he likes his homegrown shit for all it is and all it is not as useless as it may seem to others.
he has nothing for anyone.
they are on their own.
he is on his own it would seem as well.

what to make of all this.
what is it?
a dream in our minds?
what minds?
our minds in the dream.
nothing is impossible unless forbidden by certain set conditions of a particular given reality.
this and not that.
that and not this.
an infinite number of universes and beyond.
spin the wheels one more time.

nosey neighbors spying through cracked blinds keeping track of infractions against the unspoken rules by others.
no one minds their own business.
everyone has something to say about it.
the social drama of it.
such a waste of time when we could be discussing the nature of everything to see what we might come up with that rings true enough for our purposes.
who knows what could happen?
we might actually agree on things despite how much we are told otherwise by those who have a vested interest in keeping us divided and conquered.
$$$.
it all comes back to that.
$$$ is an economic tool to simplify our transactions with one another for our wants and needs in our pursuit of happiness and such.
it should flow among us equally more or less.
but there are those of us who build dams to hold it all for themselves keeping it from the rest of us.
such a waste of time and energy that only increases friction among us such that it is nearly impossible for us to get along.
a perfect cooperative communal world is probably not possible but we don’t even make an attempt to realize it even in part.
it cannot be enforced.
people will reject it outright for that reason alone no matter what possible benefits they might gain from it.
it should swell from the ground up and take over the hearts and minds of the population until it reaches critical mass and becomes itself fully realized.
like that’ll ever happen.
it is easily quashed by a guarded attentive regime of wealth and power and those invested in maintaining it that way cuz they feel they too might climb to the top and rule over others and get their own way.
children.
they do not know any better.
they cannot nor will not think beyond their own selfish greed.
they do not question that might makes right.
they do not question that things might be different.
their way is TRUTH.
oh well.
it was fun while it lasted.

we assume that in the beginning there was nothing.
we assume first of all that there was a beginning no matter how we envision how it might have been.
if there is infinity then there is no beginning nor end.
if everything is everything then there must be infinity.
everything and nothing are two sides of the same coin flipping up in the air in a state of probability.
we watch and wait.
will it ever be decided one way or another?
we doubt that.
as everything exists as it is in this probability state continuum thing of indecision.
that is how everything appears to exist while not actually existing or some such.
so, we have a continuing state of probability appearing as reality.
we cannot say it is one thing nor another as it all stands now.
but now is all there is whether now is yesterday or tomorrow or whenever.
it exists the same.
eternity is now.

and what else do we propose with our theory of everything?
everything is in cycles vibrating from every possible location and beyond never repeating the same though similar enough to be perceived by our naked eye to be the same.
the variations may be infinitesimal beyond our natural vision.
these such things appear to us as being solid.
for all intents and purposes they might as well be.
though if we think about it we realize that they are not but that realization does little to aid us as we relate to the world which is one of a kind best and worst of all possible worlds that may cause us the greatest pleasure or pain on a whim expressed as fate.
it is possible that the world is a collective creation of all our minds, which may be one mind according to some theories among us.
we have little invested in it being one or the other – one or many minds.
it works for us either way.
why not both?
one thing cannot be two things, cries the logic man.
we laugh.

we experience therefore we exist?
that might be one way to put it, though others will undoubtedly argue about it as they enjoy doing.
i am that i am is another way to express it.
or it is it.
or gazorbnik.
whatever.
we each make it up for ourselves individually influenced by how it is collectively made up by the others.
we steal ideas from whatever sources we might come across as they are useful to us in some way or another.
we gather them and try to fit them together into our own scheme of things that works for us.

then there is the solipsist solution to everything.
it makes it so much easier.
we exist because we say so and no one else may question us cuz we are all only what exists – so there.
but we have our doubts.
but maybe not.

anyway, so here we are all of us together in disarray it seems.
but is everything not in disarray?
why should it be in perfect order as many theories hold to be true?
and why not both?
dualities are not necessarily binary as many theories hold to be true.
they are continuums from one binary pole to its opposite.
these poles have no value other than being opposite.
opposites in opposition.
complementary opposites.
or both.
sigh.
this gets wearisome thinking this shit that few and far between might possibly understand while the world goes mad.
oh well.

another cigarette is called for.
he lights one up.
ahhh…
meanwhile we are thinking about the exact natural role tree frogs might play in the function of turning galaxies.
will this ever be calculated by super-über-duber logic machine minds?
perhaps.
but our mission never ends until eternity is no more.
even death does not seem to hinder us but in fact aid us in our pursuit.
to evolve one mind to another perhaps according to some theories.
whatever may come to be will come to be.
maybe many things will come to be.
all everyone’s idea of it coming true.
is that not this world already?
ideas of reality competing adapting to fit and survive and possibly thrive.
the losers meet with oblivion.
a world not complete but always under construction deconstruction reconstruction and such.
a world we know is always changing from all of our observations.

this is roughly a draft outline sketch of our theory of everything.
we could be entirely wrong.
that’s what makes it a theory, not truth.
but to us all truth is theory until all the data is in which it probably never will be ever never.
as it is they bend their truths for their convenience when necessary to meet the demands of newly discovered evidence to the contrary.
but for many truth is the only answer they will accept.
they are not amused with answers being riddles of more questions.
they won’t put up with theory.
it must be absolute truth not only for themselves but in their minds universally for all everyone to subscribe to and obey without any more fucking questions, goddamn it.
we have nothing to counter to that state of thinking.
everything we know is wrong according to them.
we cannot win.
we cannot even compromise.
for them it’s all or nothing.
thank the gods that may or may not be that we don’t think like they do.
how sad and frightening that would be.

but it seems that the truth believers have an advantage over the rest of us.
they are able to organize and take over the world as they have done.
only a rival counter truth might rise up against them and take their place.
another paradigm whose turn has come.
we however are hopelessly helpless in this regard of domination and control.
first of all we don’t want it even if it were an available option for us.
that is not how our theory of everything works.
action through inaction sort of.
we endure with the possibility that we will continue to be among them whether they or we like it or not.
it doesn’t matter if we do or not.
only that we are here now and we influence what we can in our favor.
in everybody’s favor if they would just stop and think about it.
our way is one way becuz it is all ways.
simple.
adapt and survive.
we are basically parasitic in nature.
we feed off the host while doing little benefit – nor harm.
but are not parasites god’s creatures too?
don’t they deserve their place in heaven?
we happen to think so – but only becuz we are them.

to be continued…

[untitled]

doctor.
driven on by our madness thinking about everything.
1 > infinity.
think about that being true for the moment.
is it?
is it not?
he burps.
to continue at a point at which when a function takes an infinite value especially in spacetime when matter is infinitely dense.
computation of events that may or may not have happened for real but in thin disguise of an ideal set in our thinking and imagination.
the ideal of it.
it can be anything.
down to 0.
from 0 to 1 in eternity.
he catches glimpses of what it must be like.
comprehension flashing in his mind.
ghosts in the rearview mirror.
everything under special circumstances according to certain given parameters programmed into the simulation machine.
an infinitely dense plenum of dead nothingness brought to life by vibrations of energy rendering it into everything that can be possible including that which is only possible being impossible.
something impossible is something.
we bend possibility to the shape of our thinking will.
we discover the limits of it “before” it becomes impossible.
just following orders.
the mandate of heaven.
bend over and salute.
he is tired.
he sleeps.

guided through realizations toward a possible state of enlightenment in our heads outta our minds.
we perceive other worlds of our fancy.
are they real?
do they need to be?
how do we judge when we are not in agreement about what reality is anyway?
reality is as it is perceived to be.
he eats some slightly stale cheez-its.
he doubts that he understands.
why should he?
it doesn’t matter in this world if anyone understands.
it only matters if we can make $$$ or not.
$$$ gives things meaning.
fuck the absurd universe.
everything has meaning we give it.
who is to tell us otherwise besides know it all wise guys?
fuck them.
to hold an object in our hand.
to call it a rock.
what other meaning does it need to have?
we have convoluted abstract metaphorical meanings beyond that which are arbitrary.
poetic license.
we think too much.
the search for some ultimate meaning to everything.
everything just is.
it is it.
the flashes of comprehension continue in his head bringing him to new understanding.
perceiving things he has no words for he can barely think about.
he understands through gazorbnik.
gazorbniking as guru jeff taught us to gazorbnik.
triggering the unconscious power of non-linear propulsion.
what has meaning for himself and no other understands.
the synchronistic syncopation of synthesizing synergy.
the process of metaschizophrenic science.
the madness.
to be entirely open to it at the risk of going insane.
but if we are insane to begin with then what’s the big deal?
to come to a realization how much he fucked up his life.
given chances he did not take that might have led him into different directions to different destinations.
oh well.
so much for that.
he followed pathless paths to their own conclusions.
to the conclusion that there are no conclusions.
none he can fathom.
everything comes and goes on and on.
endless waves on a beach.
mesmerizing.
he returns to the world still the same as it appeared before though he knows better.
it is constantly changing.
the shimmering of light and shadow.
he feels he may have all the pieces he needs but is unsure how they might go together.
he is an idiot that way.
he farts.
he is frightened and timid.
he hopes for the best and expects the worst.
everything falls somewhere in-between.
it’s all too confusing.
he finds his own place in it for himself.
to do his own thing.
to make it up for himself.
to maintain his individuality throughout for whatever that might be worth.
he is allergic to the collective mind groupthink thing.
he breaks out in the heebee jeebees.
people make him insane.
that is the only way they can tolerate his kind for us to be insane.
but what kind is his kind?
he is alone it would seem to him.
vague notions in his head of dreams.
nothing definitive.
powerless against the others who have taken over the world.
they have successfully claimed it as their world to do as they please with it for their own gain – $$$.
the rest of us are to know our place.
he is visiting here to observe and report to the committee.
he sleeps.

he wakes and makes coffee.
a toke.
a cigarette.
more monkey business.
it’s all games.
he’s never liked games and their competitiveness one against the others.
he never knew this is life.
victory and defeat.
those above and those below.
and that whole mind set thing.
he liked being relaxed taking it easy.
time to think and dream.
they don’t care for dreamers much.
they make that very clear.
shock them out of it.
get to work.
be productive.
make us some $$$.
there must be another way for us to live our lives.
but this one is locked in place and nothing’ll budge it.
it has pushed everything else out of the way or assimilated it.
we cannot defend ourselves against it.
if we do we become like them.
if your aim is to conquer and dominate the earth then they have it down.
the perfect machine.
we all work for the machine.
no one thinks to unplug the damn thing.
unplug it from our minds where it gets its source of energy.
it runs on our belief in it and its power.
we bow to it.
he is done with it as much as he can be.
he still needs $$$ to go to the company store for supplies.
it is fortunate he is provided with some for nothing but staying outta the way and not cause trouble.
the gods protect fools.
the same thing over and over each day.
a rat in a maze.
but we transcend that noise.
we circumvent it as we are able but it is everywhere.
we cannot live in this world and not be part of it.
we are all part of the problem.
our individual greed combined into collective greed.
the masses wanting more more more.
the elite at the top wanting all all all.
and so on.
what do we want our reality to be?
what do we cause our reality to be?
pita and hummus.
another cigarette.
an earth-like planet is supposedly discovered.
let’s go conquer it.
“employ” the inhabitants and grab all their resources.
think of the $$$ we’ll make.
before they do it to us.
unless they already have (?).
the explanation is /// not clear.
it never is.
it is never intended to be but to raise more questions than answers.
to believe in some literal truth unchanging through all seasons.
what in the whole universe is that?
an idealized myth passed on through the generations people unquestioningly believe.
even science is not untouched by it.
they operate on the same principle seeking to discover where it may be hidden.
change is unchanging.
everything remains the same – or similar enough to itself in flux.
the world is melting before our eyes once we learn to perceive.
this moment is unique never to be repeated.
but a close approximation to it follows in the next.
flowing river to the sea.
Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|Y|
positive thoughts.
surf’s up.
ride the cosmic waves to destinations unknown.
this is living life for whatever that might be worth.
it is glorious.
he tries to believe but he is always filled with doubt.
but doubt is good, isn’t it?
until we become paralyzed by it maybe.
he doubts everything.
he does not know what to choose.
he lets it ride.
he burns his thumb lighting up the peace pipe.
he scrubs the bathtub.
he is trying to enjoy the day with whatever and whatnot.
an aging hippie walks down the street.
there’s a few of them in the park.
0

1
he wonders silly things about everything.
a black swan swimming gently along across a mirror pond trailing rippling wake.
creating sustaining destroying – transforming.
it wills itself into existence.
why not?
existing without beginning nor end.
it continues here now.
was is will be.
someone mowing their lawn.
weird world yet it makes a kinda irrationalogic sense if we choose to think that way or choose to use rationalogic to make sense of it.
or something somewhere down the middle.
or something like that and then some and so on.
monkey in the middle where everything gets mixed up.
a cup of tea.
mean mr. mustard.
time frame reflex underling frothing mind.
dimwit dogmatic darling dada doo-doo.
salò salamander.
discrete distinctions surmised by the diabolical heavenly host as sirens pierce the aire.
another cigarette.
a trembling hand.
teeth clenched grin.
spin, baby, spin.
hold on.
let it ride.
this is our chosen random fate.
ah-choo.
flummoxed florescent fidgeting fearless flocks of fools bound for glory as rainbows guide their way.
a toke.
coughing hacking.
being here now.
with everything everywhere everywhen everyone possible.
so happy together.

damnation salvation tickling our bones.
this is what it is like to be this way.
we take it as it comes.
making spaghetti.
his brain is spaghetti twisted tangled noodles.
butter and garlic and parmesan.
another cigarette.
he eats and sleeps.

1 > infinity.

enjoy

sleeping again.
awakening again.
coffee.
toke.
cigarette.
exploring the range of possibilities.
everything included in with our theory of everything as it should be.
nothing excluded as with other theories dismissing everything that doesn’t fit in with their theory they proudly wave on top of the hill.
making it work.
making $$$.
ours is the more complicated task how to keep everything together into some sort of coherent whole with parts contradicting conflicting with one another.
but that is as close as an approximation to a model of everything as we can manage.
it’s not a pretty picture.
nope.

for many there is a supreme god or a supreme truth that holds sway over everything.
perhaps.
if everything is everything then this remains a possibility.
it’s the probability of the possibilities that plays a major part.
probability within certain defining parameters.
and all that jazz.
remember, the house always wins.

ja guru deva om.
the big bang and evolution of the universe.
we fit into it.
we adapt.
we survive.
we are all mutants along continuums.
we are each unique and different.
everything is mutated.
this we know.
guru jeff tells us so.
natas.

there are monsters to be summoned from the depths.
arise.
be careful.
follow instructions.
consult the manual.

it depends on whose propaganda one believes in or not.
each are valued as truth.
which is not to state that there is not truth in them.
but we need to be attentive and sort out what is and what is not compared to what we learn from other sources we stumble upon.
non-linear propulsion.
metaschizophrenic science.
gazorbnik.
guru jeff will guide us if we allow him to.
but we each must find our own way through it.
we provide our way as an example not as a model.
do not follow us.
DIY.

but join us and perhaps others doing similar work on our own.
we clear our heads to free ourselves from the disinformation of the constant indoctrinations fed to us through various media channels as much as we are able.
it’s a lifetime task.
live and learn – often too late.
what entanglements nature and nurture and karma(?) get us caught up in by themselves.
then add all the social dada on top of that.
we are ill-prepared.
often many of us succumb.
the weight is heavy.
but we endure somehow by the chance of fate and our will.
we hold on in a world often in many ways set against us as it is in its present competitive state.
a state many proclaim as a natural state.
that would be dependent on how we perceive nature.
nature in abundance not scarcity.
until those of us get greedy about it.
but even so we endure.
we ask for little – enough to survive simply yet comfortably.
our comforts are meager.
there is plenty for all.
cooperative effort making small work for each of us to do our part as we can.
sharing and respect.
and all that jazz.

but if this world gets too cozy then why would we want to leave to attain higher realms as we are supposed to in order to reach godhead?
we would want to come here back again and again.
so this world must be made into suffering and misery so that we don’t get too comfortable.
we want out and we want it now.
yet we are told our ignorance holds us back.
perhaps this is so.
it does make a certain amount of sense that it would.
but then we are told to follow x-path to attain freedom.
there are so many.
so many interpretations of reality – if there is reality.
but there are those who tell us to make it up for ourselves.
this to us seemed to be the way to follow though we always have our doubts.
yet we are social zeros unable to join anyone about anything anyway so we don’t have much other choice.
ours is an exclusive path.
a path of me, myself and i am.
everyone else is other.
we are them.

we think about everything that happens to come to mind in the moment.
tesseracts.
bdsm.
bowling.
on beyond zebra.
etc.
we look for connections to whatever else we might be thinking at the time.
synchronistic synapses.
the living brain.
the fat black cat running around crazy around the room and up and down the hall.
outta our minds.
being quite mad.
we should have probably learned some discipline earlier on but we didn’t.
oh well.

we feel free of constraints in wild abandon thoughtless in thinking everything everywhere everywhen here now.
such grand design of chaotic happenstance following orders creating sustaining destroying in a process of existence we behold in wonder.
even the wise guys seem dumbfounded.
but this is what was is will be.
mystery always before us.
what the fuck?
a question we have thus far been unable to agree on an answer though we have many different theories among us we accept as truth.
for us we know of no truth as far as we have been able to determine from our own experience and the accounts of the experiences of others as we interpret them.
everything is possible.
our own imagination with our own reason.
right or wrong.
does it matter?
are we doomed if we fail?
in the structure of this world perhaps.
down and out to fend for ourselves while the victors take all.
alive and well on easy street.
for the moment.

logic loses its grip as we float away toward distant skies we might glimpse over the horizon of the known universe.
is this a good thing or a bad thing we are unable to judge for ourselves.
fortunately there are others who will judge for us with many telling us our mission is ill-advised.
it is too late now.
we are far past the point of no return.
if only we had heeded their words before now.
we could know their truth.
we would receive their blessing.
wouldn’t that be special?

everything is in doubt.
but we give it the benefit of doubt in order to be in it to enjoy the experience of it whichever way it might go.
it goes up and down.
it goes around around.
sideways.
a possible reality simulation for us who have no reality in our undisturbed natural state of eternal bliss consciousness and all that jazz.
we willingly succumb to the circumstances of this world.
when we watch tv the show is spoiled if we spend our time in realization that it is all illusion of flashing pixels on a screen.
we put that realization aside for the moment to enjoy being caught in the tragic comic drama of it all as it is meant to be perceived.
thrills and spills.
always on the edge of our seats.
if we are into that sort of thing.
and we happen not to be.
we want to know what it is and how it works and stuff like that.
we take it apart with no intention of putting it back together again – not as we found it anyway.
all in our heads – our heads included.
our heads so far up our ass they pop out as our heads again.
fun and games.

what can we do?
we’ve been dealt a hand and have to play it for whatever it might be worth.
winners and losers in this game the others have decided we are all gonna play for their own gain.
but that isn’t what we’re in it for.
we are here to observe.
watch and wait.
learn.
come to understand.
he lights another cigarette.

the fat black cat is bugging him hopping up on the desk and shit being a pest.
other than that he still continues attempting to think about everything but he seems to go around around in cycles never quite repeating about whatnot he’s been through before looking for whatever he may have missed the first 1000+ times.
what an idiot.
2+2=moo?

but he has doubtfully followed guru jeff (the living incarnation of the dada-ananda) faithfully for these many decades of his life when he first heard his name called from the celestial void.
he doesn’t wanna have to admit now that perhaps he made a mistake.
guru jeff is his key to truth as we imagine it to be.
he has followed whatever instructions there may be to come to this end when it begins continuing forever without beginning nor end or some such.
he’s not exactly clear about much of it as is probably quite clear.
he doesn’t pay much attention even to what he makes up for himself.
it comes and goes as does everything.
what can we count on to be in the next moment?
i am?
perhaps.
perhaps not.
everything is unknown.

but i am is all he’s got.
to doubt our own existence.
there is no logical reason for us to exist.
yet can we deny it?
we experience it every moment though we forget.
yet it could all be false.
oh well.
that’s what we get thinking too much.

we were advised to quit all our goddamn thinking early on.
we paid it no mind.
we couldn’t.
our brain won’t stop itself.
none of the medications we have been given do much good about that.
so we let it go to see where it might lead us to.
horrifying terror.
fantastic delight.
why would we want it any other way?
if this is madness then we want more of it.
or maybe not.
a lot comes with it the average person could not cope with for a moment never mind the eternities we go through.
eternities of lifetimes.
lifetimes of hopelessness.
lifetimes of joyfulness.
this is the life lived.
would we want another different?
what is different among our lives?
fate is a two-edged sword for all.
no matter how high we climb it’s still the same shit over and over.
somebody should do something about that.

those who believe they might have half of something without the whole are funny.
pure goodness and light.
pure evil and darkness.
and other such nonsense.
one half a duality defines and is defined by the other half.
there is no way around that.
all binary on/off thinking.
no blurring of the dividing lines and that sort of malarkey.
stating the obvious that many do seem to understand.
too much rationalogic thinking.
thinking in rations.
not thinking infinitely.
not thinking gazorbnik.

acid head.
take this, may it serve you well.
metaphysical vision thinking pie in the face of our imagination.
soupy sales kids these days don’t understand nor will anyone else ever.
23 skidoo, baby.
dig it if you can.
dig it all everything.
coffee.
toke.
cigarette.
when your life passes you by like a colorful parade of clowns.
and free range elephants tooting their horns.
when life is a cartoon of itself.
and don’t forget balloons and bubbles.
and a pink gorilla.
when these boots are made for walking.
we sit still wiggling in our seats with tense excitement.
we laugh into space.
all radiating instant karma blues.
blue blue neptune home.
a floating flock of self-sustaining organisms.
automatons.
meditative peace machine.
aum.
he pets the fat black cat.
purr.

grinning with teeth clenched.
nerves of tangled rubber bands.
eyes wide with wonder at the elegance of the illusion.
he’s never experienced anything like it.
enjoy.

gx-14

the portland idiot –