um… what?

awakening from a long long sleep.
he makes tea.
a toke.
a cigarette.
thinking about everything sideways.

monkeys.
nothing but monkeys.
living in a trailer park in an area of town commonly referred to as felony flats.
life on the other side of this life.
digging it.
if you’re not digging it then why are you doing it? – guru jeff.

choice is not always an option.
fate delivers what it will.
nature nurture karma thing having its part in the mixed up mix of ourselves.
everything is as it is according to certain sets of given parameters that create the illusion of this world as reality.
at the center of an infinite universe.

things in his head that are irrelevant to anything.
things in his head that make anything irrelevant.
it’s all love and fear and loathing.
it’s all radiating in cosmic waves throughout the universe.
what do we know?
what does he know about what we know?
what do we know about what we know?
everyone processing all sorts of information worldwide from scribbling on paper to massive computer networks.
what does it all mean?
gazorbnik, that’s what.
hahaha.
nobody gets it but us.
there’s a few more surprises yet to come.
hang on to your fright wigs, people.
full speed down a rocky road straight to heck.
not even hell will have us.
we are them.

he lights another cigarette.
thinking deep shallow thoughts.
it’s all he knows having not been paying attention when he should have been nor does he still.
lack of interest.
he’s not into shit like other people are into shit.
just into everything as much as he can grasp with his simple mind.
he figures that’s enough.
cold and rainy day.
he’s not all here now.
that’s the thing of it.
one of the things of it.
it is it.
it consciousness.
the primordial spark of being.
it comes and goes.
changing changelessness.
action through inaction.
e=mc².
and all that jazz.
and he needs to sleep again.
and there’s dishes to put into the machine.

late after a nap –
and there so many people who just don’t understand one another.
or understand one another far too well.
he understands and does not understand.
nor do many understand themselves.
he has little understanding of himself either.
the sun is out now.
bipolar weather.
spring.
what to doubt and what not to doubt.
a bullet can end the world.
put it out of its misery.
zoom in on the world and see all the needless suffering when there is pain enough already.
interesting.
zoom out into blissful oblivion.

a rotten fallen tree laying taking root as its branches unfurl themselves upward.
eternal life.
everything in fluctuation.
new life from old.
observe.
understand.
understand the anger and hatred there is among us.
anger and hatred of each other and the deeper anger and hatred of ourselves.
understand that within ourselves.
understand that within each other.
everything is change.
everything is redundant.
typing out whatever comes to mind at the moment into a not poem about our theory of everything.
the blues come to town.
time of non-thought.
another cigarette.
sleep.

awake again.
the drama continues with the problems he tries to stay out of.
he has no idea how they might be resolved except people just chill out getting so excited.
we are our own undoing.
he thinks about how he will not remember any of this.
it’ll all be gone as if it never was.
so why bother with any of it?
let it go its own way.
he doesn’t know anything else he might be able to do about it.
not with these people as they are.
not with himself as he is.
what’s the point?
no one gives a shit.

people are weird.
he’s never been able to quite figure them out what they’re about very much why they do this or that or the other thing and on and on.
seeking a place to hang their hat where when it’s cool.
becoming bored with that and seeking fun and excitement until that becomes too much.
around around they go.
the nature of the beast.
he’s never been able to figure himself out either why he does this or that or the other thing cuz it seems like the thing to do at the time.
people destructive to themselves and each other.
he can barely tolerate the vibrations of despair and suffering emanating from them constantly when he is out among them.
so he mostly stays at home with himself and his baby and the fat black cat.

he doesn’t trust people much.
they are not reliable in the condition they are in always wavering and arguing about everything there is.
he reaches for his own peace, love and understanding as he might find it however he will or won’t as it comes and goes as waves on a beach of an island in the eye of a storm raging on an otherwise calm sea.
the sea is humanity.
this is where he imagines himself watching the waves roll in and wash out as they will and waiting for an eternity in a moment.
all things must pass as is their nature.
nothing really exists anyway so what does it matter?
it matters not.
ever-flowing kaleidoscope of diamond light and shadow images mesmerizing us into a dream where everything is real.
how absurd.
he laughs at the thought of this being.
everything is absurd.
everything is nothing.
nothing is everything.
the answer is a riddle.
it’s in our mind.
our mind over matter.

and he should know about these things he questions.
if he paid more attention perhaps.
or he should have known instinctively from birth.
we shouldn’t be left abandoned here in ignorance about things it is important that we understand for our wellbeing and wellbeing of others.
but how else do the gods find their amusement but through our antics they gaze from afar?
all could be and should be different.
all equal to all.
none above another.
but that’s not how it is.
that’s how it will never be.
being all through it as much as his simple mind can fathom and he doesn’t get it.
he’ll never understand ever it seems to him now.
he could gain enlightened godhead this instant and still be a dumb fuck as much as always.
he holds no hope for that.

he is lost.
he is found.
he doesn’t know which.
sometimes it seems one and sometimes seems the other.
how is one to tell?
life is the same either way as not being fair.
boo-fucking-hoo.
he is not complaining as much as he just doesn’t understand.
he sees no way to it though there are those who promise answers but you have to get involved in their whole groupthink trip of whatever and of course give them $$$.
110% commitment.
devotees devoted to devotion.
he’s not been much into that sort of thing mostly.
it makes him feel silly.
he likes his homegrown shit for all it is and all it is not as useless as it may seem to others.
he has nothing for anyone.
they are on their own.
he is on his own it would seem as well.

what to make of all this.
what is it?
a dream in our minds?
what minds?
our minds in the dream.
nothing is impossible unless forbidden by certain set conditions of a particular given reality.
this and not that.
that and not this.
an infinite number of universes and beyond.
spin the wheels one more time.

nosey neighbors spying through cracked blinds keeping track of infractions against the unspoken rules by others.
no one minds their own business.
everyone has something to say about it.
the social drama of it.
such a waste of time when we could be discussing the nature of everything to see what we might come up with that rings true enough for our purposes.
who knows what could happen?
we might actually agree on things despite how much we are told otherwise by those who have a vested interest in keeping us divided and conquered.
$$$.
it all comes back to that.
$$$ is an economic tool to simplify our transactions with one another for our wants and needs in our pursuit of happiness and such.
it should flow among us equally more or less.
but there are those of us who build dams to hold it all for themselves keeping it from the rest of us.
such a waste of time and energy that only increases friction among us such that it is nearly impossible for us to get along.
a perfect cooperative communal world is probably not possible but we don’t even make an attempt to realize it even in part.
it cannot be enforced.
people will reject it outright for that reason alone no matter what possible benefits they might gain from it.
it should swell from the ground up and take over the hearts and minds of the population until it reaches critical mass and becomes itself fully realized.
like that’ll ever happen.
it is easily quashed by a guarded attentive regime of wealth and power and those invested in maintaining it that way cuz they feel they too might climb to the top and rule over others and get their own way.
children.
they do not know any better.
they cannot nor will not think beyond their own selfish greed.
they do not question that might makes right.
they do not question that things might be different.
their way is TRUTH.
oh well.
it was fun while it lasted.

we assume that in the beginning there was nothing.
we assume first of all that there was a beginning no matter how we envision how it might have been.
if there is infinity then there is no beginning nor end.
if everything is everything then there must be infinity.
everything and nothing are two sides of the same coin flipping up in the air in a state of probability.
we watch and wait.
will it ever be decided one way or another?
we doubt that.
as everything exists as it is in this probability state continuum thing of indecision.
that is how everything appears to exist while not actually existing or some such.
so, we have a continuing state of probability appearing as reality.
we cannot say it is one thing nor another as it all stands now.
but now is all there is whether now is yesterday or tomorrow or whenever.
it exists the same.
eternity is now.

and what else do we propose with our theory of everything?
everything is in cycles vibrating from every possible location and beyond never repeating the same though similar enough to be perceived by our naked eye to be the same.
the variations may be infinitesimal beyond our natural vision.
these such things appear to us as being solid.
for all intents and purposes they might as well be.
though if we think about it we realize that they are not but that realization does little to aid us as we relate to the world which is one of a kind best and worst of all possible worlds that may cause us the greatest pleasure or pain on a whim expressed as fate.
it is possible that the world is a collective creation of all our minds, which may be one mind according to some theories among us.
we have little invested in it being one or the other – one or many minds.
it works for us either way.
why not both?
one thing cannot be two things, cries the logic man.
we laugh.

we experience therefore we exist?
that might be one way to put it, though others will undoubtedly argue about it as they enjoy doing.
i am that i am is another way to express it.
or it is it.
or gazorbnik.
whatever.
we each make it up for ourselves individually influenced by how it is collectively made up by the others.
we steal ideas from whatever sources we might come across as they are useful to us in some way or another.
we gather them and try to fit them together into our own scheme of things that works for us.

then there is the solipsist solution to everything.
it makes it so much easier.
we exist because we say so and no one else may question us cuz we are all only what exists – so there.
but we have our doubts.
but maybe not.

anyway, so here we are all of us together in disarray it seems.
but is everything not in disarray?
why should it be in perfect order as many theories hold to be true?
and why not both?
dualities are not necessarily binary as many theories hold to be true.
they are continuums from one binary pole to its opposite.
these poles have no value other than being opposite.
opposites in opposition.
complementary opposites.
or both.
sigh.
this gets wearisome thinking this shit that few and far between might possibly understand while the world goes mad.
oh well.

another cigarette is called for.
he lights one up.
ahhh…
meanwhile we are thinking about the exact natural role tree frogs might play in the function of turning galaxies.
will this ever be calculated by super-über-duber logic machine minds?
perhaps.
but our mission never ends until eternity is no more.
even death does not seem to hinder us but in fact aid us in our pursuit.
to evolve one mind to another perhaps according to some theories.
whatever may come to be will come to be.
maybe many things will come to be.
all everyone’s idea of it coming true.
is that not this world already?
ideas of reality competing adapting to fit and survive and possibly thrive.
the losers meet with oblivion.
a world not complete but always under construction deconstruction reconstruction and such.
a world we know is always changing from all of our observations.

this is roughly a draft outline sketch of our theory of everything.
we could be entirely wrong.
that’s what makes it a theory, not truth.
but to us all truth is theory until all the data is in which it probably never will be ever never.
as it is they bend their truths for their convenience when necessary to meet the demands of newly discovered evidence to the contrary.
but for many truth is the only answer they will accept.
they are not amused with answers being riddles of more questions.
they won’t put up with theory.
it must be absolute truth not only for themselves but in their minds universally for all everyone to subscribe to and obey without any more fucking questions, goddamn it.
we have nothing to counter to that state of thinking.
everything we know is wrong according to them.
we cannot win.
we cannot even compromise.
for them it’s all or nothing.
thank the gods that may or may not be that we don’t think like they do.
how sad and frightening that would be.

but it seems that the truth believers have an advantage over the rest of us.
they are able to organize and take over the world as they have done.
only a rival counter truth might rise up against them and take their place.
another paradigm whose turn has come.
we however are hopelessly helpless in this regard of domination and control.
first of all we don’t want it even if it were an available option for us.
that is not how our theory of everything works.
action through inaction sort of.
we endure with the possibility that we will continue to be among them whether they or we like it or not.
it doesn’t matter if we do or not.
only that we are here now and we influence what we can in our favor.
in everybody’s favor if they would just stop and think about it.
our way is one way becuz it is all ways.
simple.
adapt and survive.
we are basically parasitic in nature.
we feed off the host while doing little benefit – nor harm.
but are not parasites god’s creatures too?
don’t they deserve their place in heaven?
we happen to think so – but only becuz we are them.

to be continued…

love?

we seem to have disappointed many who feel perhaps we do not have the answers they are looking for.
oh well.
the answers we have found are riddles of more questions.
back into the grind of it.
thinking much too much and all that jazz.
people aren’t ready for it.
turning spinning houses.
we are built for times like this.
eat or be eaten.
logic never fails.
time is $$$.
and so on into the night.
better late than never.
we are very much late.
we’re holding up the whole show.
the others are annoyed.
but there was music playing and we got taken away.
we are really not supposed to be here but here we are.
it’s complicated.
deal with it, baby.

love, love and more love.
suckers born every minute.
get into the groove of it.
get taken for all you’re worth and then some.
but continue to love.
lovey dovey.
love is the key to open all doors.
this is what the wise guys claim.
but what is love?
what is hate and all other emotion?
what makes love so fucking special?
fucking hippies smoking all that dope is what that is.
round ’em up.
get ’em outta here.
he lights another cigarette.
the love/hate duality.
yin yang turning spinning.
see it everywhere everywhen.
in a puddle of mud with chemical rainbow sheen.
gaze into your reflection.
narcissus in a toxic waste dump.
someone should call his name but he never answers.
we walk away.

no one gives a shit.
not that we are able to determine thus far.
we are made to feel so helpless – useless.
nothing ever changes except who holds the wealth and power at any given moment.
for us life is the same.
mundane lives in a mundane world where light is dim.
like living in a cave entrapped against our will imprisoned lied to misled.
it’s all part of the game.
winners and losers.
the few winners and the many losers.
and the winners enjoy the spoils.
the losers beg in the street.
what a fine upstanding world this is.
what a fine mess we gotten ourselves into.
he believes in love but doesn’t believe those who profess love.
he feels nothing from them.
holier than thou.
more loving than thou.
love is not a competition.
it is free for all.
choose or not choose.

he loves all.
all is as it should be – sorta but not really.
all is as it is – sadly.
he loves satan and all the demons in hell on earth.
he loves killers rapists torturers, etc.
he loves and he loves for all the good it does.
nobody wants love.
love don’t pay no bills.
give ’em $$$.
that’s what they want.
this is what has become of us from our greed.
greed for all things.

enjoying a gray sunny day in the café wondering why it always turns out that we are the dumb fucks of the universe who need to become enlightened and shit.
we should be born enlightened is what he thinks – yes?
that would make things far more simpler for all concerned.
but who then would the wise guys have seeking their guidance?
they’d be out of a job – useless.
the whole institution would be obsolete.
wouldn’t that be wonderful?
imagine no one degrading us telling us how ignorant and stupid we are.
but it’s a game they play with us as their expendable pieces.
a game rigged in their favor to maintain their positions on high above us pulling strings.
and we refuse.
we resist.
we participate as little as we can get away with while they control all the resources we need to survive.
there’s no place to go anymore.
they “own” the world.
we endure what we can while we can.
some of us opt out.
others stay in it trying to change it but it is ingrained into our nature and nurture reinforced by indoctrination.
one power elite who promise us they are on our side replaces another.
it needs to be torn down to the ground.
the very foundation needs to be torn up or we will only rebuild what has been.
why build anything at all?
that seems to be the crux of the problem.
all our plans for improvement that only make matters worse in practice.
bring it down to level.
our feet on the ground.
a lament will rise about the wonders of our civilizations now gone reclaimed by the earth.
there will be those who will want to put the pieces back together again.
we must not listen to them.
we must not allow them to mislead us as they have before with promises of better tomorrows and shit.
fuck that noise.
fuck them.
fuck us if we heed their words.
we wander the earth naked unafraid.
relax.
enjoy.

but what does being enlightened mean anyway?
knowing truth?
knowing god?
and shit.
truth/god is a rock in his pocket.
he’s got it covered.
or else it’s a deep dark secret known only to an elite elect to meager out to us ignorant folk kept in the dark as it pleases them.
you decide.

it’s a bullshit scam.
a set up that needs us to play the fools.
and we willingly play into it going to them begging for salvation.
save yourselves, fuckers.
get up off your knees.
turn your backs.
walk away.
become.
but who pays any attention to us?
we are mad.
we babble meaningless nonsense of our confused minds.
hahaha.
let them believe what they will while we sit in a garden watching waiting.
no one shows up.
we expect no one.
no one is clever or crazy enough.
they follow the ancient outdated ways dressed up as something new and different.
they have no memory so they are easily deceived and taken for all they are worth $$$ and soul.
it’s sad to see but what are we to do?
this is what we do.
so it goes.

but to continue the not poem he writes about our theory of everything on and on explaining nothing as there is nothing to explain that others do not experience for themselves in some manner or another.
or so the theory goes like that.
but it is about how we individually think and feel about our experience that makes the difference.
the differences in what we think and feel about whatever.
why one of us gets it while others do not.
the few and far between.
he doesn’t know how or why.
it shouldn’t be this way but it seems to be.
makes him wanna destroy it all in the name of love.
love guns.
love bombs.
we’re taking over.
gonna set you free whether you wanna be or not.
no more mr. nice guy.

outside the kidnapped paranoia shouts a county biscuit

as a spaceship hovers nearby he imagines himself sitting before the computer hunched over the keyboard typing out a not poem cuz he ain’t no poet about our theory of everything.
first, there is no first.
there is no beginning nor end but as the universe is finitely perceived but not as it is infinitely felt to be.
infinity in all directions – over under sideways down.
what is beauty?
what is ugly?
what absurd questions.
the subjective relative thing.
objectivity is a thing of the past.
ain’t no such thing.
even god is not objective.
it is that which it is and will always adopt that particular subjective view of everything that is – even and especially if everything is itself.
dig?
so we can throw objectivity out the window.
we experience everything as self though the self may be illusion.
we make reality work either for us or against us depending on our state of mind of the moment.
let’s go surfing now.
everybody’s learning how.
the primarily male dominated hierarchical social structure though women have their role in it proving they can be asshole pigs as well.
the male sky gods dominate.
the earth mother god subdued.
what has become of us this way?
what but our greed.
more more more.
more for the needy.
everybody in need.
everybody must be fed.
everybody with a place to sleep.
but the wealthy power elite will have none of it.
all is theirs.
they must possess it.
ain’t nothing we can do but rise up and kill them all.
that’ll do it.
hahaha.
fat chance.
sweet romance.
sweet oblivion take us down.
down beneath the ground.
let’s see what might be found.

he could never decide what he wants.
sitting on a fence.
waiting for it to make some sense.
at times it becomes quite intense.
he’s on the ride of his life.
through the conflict and strife.
balanced on the edge of a knife.
a cloudy day of passing showers.
what to do to pass the hours.
kiss the flowers one by one.
pretend we’re having fun.
maybe we’ll meet on the run.
there sure ain’t gonna be a jubilee to come.
nothing will make us free except to go on a killing spree.
what about you?

enlightenment comes and goes.
one moment we’re shining.
the next we’re dumb as a rock.
yet rocks are wise old souls.
long slow deep thought.
when he dies he wants to come back as a rock.
or maybe a tree.
self-sufficient uncaring unconcerned.
but these are probably reserved for the elite elect like everything else worth a shit.
they keep to themselves telling us we wouldn’t understand being so fucking ignorant and all that bullshit they justify their exalted positions above us looking down with pity and disgust.
but it’s alright.
we’re doing fine most of the time though there are moments when not.
they come and go.
the full range of emotion the wise guys tell us is inappropriate behavior for attaining realization.
fuck that.
we feel what we feel and never mind how uncomfortable it makes others feel.
let them medicate themselves instead of us to get over it.
so many real problems in the world and they make up new unnecessary ones besides.
who cares if they don’t like our rock and roll lifestyle?

we fly high.
we fly low.
we dig it everywhere we go.
so much joy to be had.
living this desperate life ain’t so bad.
up and down all around.
all around town.
this is us.
they are us who divide themselves exclusively apart.
fuckers.
cuz they won all the $$$ they feel they’re hot shit.
there ain’t nothing to be done about them.
greedy pigs have no pride and feel they got nothing to hide but it shows and it blows.
blowing out in the wind.

holy people suck with pretention.
holier than the rest of us.
and millions agree and follow their command.
we steal from them what we might find somewhat useful in our schemes included in with our theory of everything.
we put it together whichever way it fits in our skew of it.
children returning home from the indoctrination center.
we make up the rest to pretend.
our fantasies of ourselves.
it hails outside beneath a dark cloud.
night will fall early tonight.
he will too.
he is already sleepy.

what are the limits to our freedom?
freedom isn’t what we demand for ourselves, but what we allow for others – guru jeff.
what do we endure?
fate throwing spanners in the works of our plans otherwise.
life has to keep going anyway.
no time for slackers like us.
something different occurs.
we appear from nowhere anywhere at any time.
a buncha freaks.
mutant children of the sunrise.
surprise.
here we are now not knowing quite what to do with ourselves.
not knowing what we want – peace or excitement.
we have little ambition but to dream ourselves away from ourselves cuz we are mad that way with promises of love and devotion notwithstanding regardless we dance on our graves sideways to the normative value of our distress in these uncertain times acting out the same tired dramas of old with pretty new faces of the damned and unafraid with no more to lose against tides of those opposed to any opposition to their demands of justice delving heights yonder over the horizon where shadows turn backwards undergoing tumultuous endeavors heretofore mentioned in passing by ghost chipmunks thinking themselves pleasantly amused by outcomes of misfortune otherwise surrendering to themselves again to the advertised powers that be gigantic cock sucking contest whistle blowing cosmonauts all in a row about something now best forgotten by children of all ages sequestered inside a cracker box of flavor jumping for joy everlasting until the final hour has struck too soon too late unable to make up our minds subsequently happenstance balloons enjoying the afternoon delights with spoon insertion directly into brain cavity opening wide with pyramid grace sucking on a cough drop to maximum pleasure mode machine clouds moving across uncertain skies maintained for undisclosed purposes reasoning forthwith asunder remote communications abreast with the times they are a-changing degrees of perpetual sorrow declared by abandoned greek orthodox platoons of prostitutes marching to the sea disturbed by troubling storms sarcastically calling our names as we skate on thin possibility garbage can heroics heralding human hungers forcing the issue from becoming another casualty from the wreckage of our lives.

it’s medication time.
he doesn’t feel that the meds quite make it.
he is having them changed.
the dose was increased on one of them.
supposed to make it so his thoughts are more manageable without spiraling out like lined up dominos one thought to another another another… on and on.
and the breakdowns into gut-wrenching foreboding despair.
what a pickle.
nothing he can’t handle throughout his life of dreaming.
thinking about everything with nothing much to think about.
not much of any real interest.
paying minimal attention – enough to more or less function.
mind in the clouds.
bats in the belfry.
lazy fuck.

it’s cool though whatever.
he sleeps.

he wakes up and goes out to get a mocha and smokes.
he comes home.
a toke.
a cigarette.
fat black cat on the windowsill in the sun.
the world organized to function as one more or less.
operating on the same time.
liquid sky.
big business.
$$$.
he tends to mumble when he speaks.
he expects no one to listen.
quasi-avant garde mish mash doubleplusgood duckspeak.
thinking about everything.
everything is his god.
what mysteries lie hidden in its depths.
will it be anything he may have been able to imagine?
to be ready for it.
watching and waiting.
relax.
the fat black cat being a pest walking back and forth across the desk – and the keyboard.
what energy is created.
what energy is desired and/or feared.
the sun comes out of the gray shade of scattered clouds that sometimes rain.
is he an agent of free will?
or does fate decide what he will decide.
how does fate decide?
is there some logical formula?
or is it magick?
is it an act of will?
is it driven by our total combined actions with karmic repercussions?
he attaches a forked twig into the web of the mind shift/ship ready and waiting for action.
hijack the planet from the bad guys.
make everything alright.
magick sprouting as weeds in the cracks in the wall of brute rationalogic thought and reason.
the takeover will be complete.
in through the out door.
all in our heads outta our minds.
fantasy vs reality – though they don’t need to.
brazil.
wssssq32.
reference points and signs on our way along pathless paths following this one a while then that one then the other one on and on and so on.
landmarks from those who have passed this way before through these wilderness mindscapes.
a brilliant escape route.
he doesn’t know why this seems to be real but it does.
everything is mixed up in this world.
how are we to be expected to find our way through it?
what can we depend on?
we depend on everything.
the full whole of everything not just a slice of the pie.
the pie in the sky.
the pie in our face.
holy cow.

he’s nowhere close.
he has no idea what he’s doing for this or that or the other thing.
he hangs on dangling loose entangled threads twirling.
he thinks about abusive relationships.
he thinks about mountain streams.
he thinks about landing to colonize another planet.
he thinks about promises he’s broken to himself.
he lights another cigarette.
he thinks about being attacked by wild hungry dogs in the streets of the apocalypse.
earth abides.
those who survive.
the golden web of excited excrement.
be sure to wash your hands after and blow your nose.
where we’re at nobody knows.
not even us.
is it that important?
all we can tell is that we’re here now no matter where or when.
everything is here now everywhere everywhen.
duh.

simple things for simple minds.
the mind is a beautiful servant, a dangerous master – guru jeff.
it’s best to keep it simple.
those whose minds have big ideas.
hot dog.
cigarette.
the guy comes to mow the lawn.
he hates to see it being done but, when in rome…
collective social cultural pressure.
the individual oddball.
big white truck rumbles down the street toward the exit.
the world doesn’t come to an end – not completely.
it’s here just as we know it.
yet how much do we know it?
it is a mystery still, is it not?

the absurdity of everything amazes him.
heheheheheh.
what would the world be without being absurd?
the more sense we try to make of it the more absurd it becomes.
but here at central command we understand everything.
what else would we be doing here?
it may seem absurd but it’s true.
by the power of gazorbnik – long may it wave.
there are lessons in everything.
things work in many different ways.
rationalogic is one of them.

the degraded and the sublime hand in hand walking up the street much to many people’s dismay against the expectations of what’s to be expected.
the avatars sit with us in the garden to tell us their stories.
we give them the benefit of our doubt such as it may be.
doing the hokey pokey.
spin the wheels one more time.
come on, lucky 11.

he lights a bowl.
he lights a cigarette.
he thinks about living in interesting times.
the reality simulation machine thing churning.
imagine that.
but what is the base reality of that scenario?
is it as questionable as the one we experience?
why not?
how could it not be?
nothing is unquestionable.

he can’t imagine being without questions.
would he even be conscious anymore?
how would he think?
would it be the eternal silence of nirvana?
shattered perhaps by a mad god laughing screaming alone in the void inside his head.
heaven as forgetfulness.
forget this ever happened.
forget we ever existed.
is that the ideal we are striving for?
fuck that.

possibilities of truth.
a fucking horned god.
out in the fields in full moonlight.
a bonfire roars.
naked dancers flail to the driving beat of drummers.
we celebrate ourselves.

medication time.

how does the peanut negative cow the misguided project?

he scratches his ass.
and this world seems to be on the bottom of worlds.
and in this world we are on the bottom.
idiots.
little or no hope for us.
when they throw their party do they notice we are missing?
or was that the plan all along?
they’ve taken all the money leaving us with lucky pennies and lottery tickets.
so what do we do?
um…?
aum…!

groovy.
peace.
good vibrations.
excitations.
he lights another cigarette.
to attain that state when we couldn’t care less.
eternal steady state of bliss consciousness blinding out all else.
so it becomes itself since there is nothing else for it to become.
it is formless in all forms and all that jazz as if that matters for our everyday matters in this world like paying the rent and buying enough food to eat and shit.
there is a great disconnect here between the mundane and divine.
and it’s all our fault for not keeping up and paying attention.
certainly not the fault of the godhead thing radiating eternal bliss consciousness stuff.
it is perfect the wise guys tell us.
we don’t think they understand what they’re talking about.
of course if everything is everything then it would include that which is perfect.
but is perfection really an ideal we want to be pursuing?
we don’t think so.
of course if everything is everything it would include the idea that everything itself is perfect – while also being imperfect.
or something like that.
duality.
it transcends duality.
it becomes one of everything including extreme opposites.
everything is in opposition yet complementary.
that makes the most sense to us.
but we don’t expect anyone else to get it.
they’re all a bit too slow.
they react, they don’t think.
we are the only ones who understand.
the few and far between.
we are them.

none of this means shit.
he goes to the store for supplies.
he comes home.
a hot dog.
a toke.
a cigarette.
we are stuck here till we learn to behave ourselves according to the expectations of the polite cultured society of the wise guys in their bliss.
we gazorbnik our way around all that.
the method of madness.
our own devising for our own needs from our own experience.
ta-da.

down on the common ground in our own isolation.
not knowing this or that or the other thing on and on.
just knowing what we know.
what we think we know.
all the propaganda and lies.
all the hidden truths.
all the whatever.
tea bag fortune: a relaxed mind is a creative mind.
a confused mind is an explosion of everything.
blown mind.
jibber jabber.
a tired mind.
a wandering scattered mind.
a foolish mind.
an idiot mind.
etc.

he sleeps most of the day.
exhausted.
he wakes up and makes tea.
he is at a loss what to do.
a toke.
a cigarette.
an attempt at meditating.
busy mind.
a mind of madness.
madness with its own peace.
another cigarette.
peace found in troubled waters.
fantasy reality.
he burps.
peace in this world of constant conflicts of self-interest and greed.
an economy based on scarcity.
the earth is abundant.
for the few.
billions must die off.
we are them.

he sleeps.
he wakes and makes coffee.
a toke.
a cigarette.
another sunny spring day.
he imagines himself sitting before the computer hunched over the keyboard typing out a not poem cuz he ain’t no poet about our theory of everything.
repeating it over and over again expecting different results.
expecting the world to change its course.
their world of all-conquering the sky gods.
might makes right.
the gods of the earth subdued – nearly forgotten.
the people of the earth subdued – nearly forgotten.
written out of history.
history of the victors and their vain glory.
we endure.
we shall inherit the earth.
we are them.

we exist to ourselves alone.
we are dreamers of this world.
the best and worst of all possible worlds depending upon how it is perceived.
everything exists in this world for good and/or evil – again, depending upon how it is perceived.
it’s all in our heads outta our minds.
our minds hoodwinked and deceived by the subtle bombardment of their constant indoctrination.
we don’t know what the fuck is what.
we make our way cautiously bumbling through wilderness mindscapes along pathless paths toward unknown destinations.
we have access to x-amount of information we must decide whether to believe it or not.
we have our doubts about everything.
information about other people’s accounts about what they are experiencing.
fact and/or fiction.
reality and/or fantasy.
our own experience is lacking.
we have little means to verify any account or not besides our own experience and imagination and reason and what we have gleaned gathering together from other accounts that seem plausible.
we need to give much of it the benefit of the doubt not knowing for sure.
we have done this on our own and come up with some different answers from those that are given than what we expected.
and many questions.
reality is relative to the individual and the collective group.
whatever works.
for us madness has worked.
it has provided us with our basic needs.
it has allowed us time to think about everything – for all the good that did for us.
but we have come to understanding about everything that we know of.
but new information is coming in steadily to perhaps change our minds.
to perhaps realize everything we know is wrong.
start again.

spin the wheels one more time.
go through it all again expecting different results but it all turns out the same – changing variations of themes radiating from everything everywhere everywhen here now.
what else is godhead?
what else is our madness?
to realize that there is nothing to realize we do not understand already.
it’s primarily to come to understand that we understand – to trust our understanding.
gleaned from the leftover harvest fields.
after the others have made all their $$$ from it.
$$$ be damned.
their greed be damned.
but so we get along on our merrie ways and means.
we choose what is useful to our needs that makes the most sense to us.
we get by.
gods protect fools.
the way in is the way out.
he imagines sitting on a beach on an island in the eye of a storm raging on an otherwise calm sea.
the sea is humanity.
he imagines a mad god laughing screaming alone in the void inside his head.
in a solipsist fantasy world of make believe.
everyone wants truth.
he avoids the truth of his solitary existence with everything being but an hallucination of his having gone mad.
a sisyphusian dream never ending.
the uphill struggle.
the leisurely stroll downhill to begin it all again.
not expecting different results but being comfortable with what is.
this is life.
life is this.
it is it.
everything in the universe and beyond – if there can be a beyond if the universe is somehow infinite without beginning or end.
our knowledge of the universe is finite though infinity surrounds us everywhere everywhen.
infinity may be only in our imaginations.
perhaps.
perhaps not.
we shall see – or not.

when we believe we shall see the wise guys tell us.
as usual we have it bass ackwards.
he doesn’t know what he wants to believe but what appears to be.
however he is not sure he knows entirely what that is.
he grooves with it as best he is able under the present circumstances.
surf city.
away we go.
tomorrow never knows.
it is it.
it is this.
it is that.
it is the other thing.
etc.
radiating from everything to everything.
vibrations everywhere.
vibrations of being.
vibrations of consciousness.
vibrations of continuing wave patterns of binary spacetime infinitesimal particles flashing on/off.
we are them.

these weird conscious beings thinking strange thoughts about everything.
what everything is and/or is not.
whatever we might imagine it to be along the way of discovering.
our grand theories.
our astounding truths.
the continuing war to end all war.
hail victory.
victory over ourselves.
bend over and salute.
place our burning flag up on the hill in the field of flags.
eye of golf ball.
the absurdity of everything if as so perceived.
gazorbnik gives everything meaning though gazorbnik itself is meaningless.
to be and/or not to be.
spin, baby, spin.
spiraling cycles never repeating across the face of the plenum evoking a reality up from nothingness.
everything is nothing.
nothing is everything.
the answer is a riddle.
a serpent swallowing its tail.
logic never fails.

metaphors abound.
everything is metaphor of the one existing thing that is it which is a metaphor of itself on and on in a dream dreaming a dream.
a hot dog.
another toke.
another cigarette.
mood swing city.
wild scattered brained idiot.
and hilarity ensues.

the gods watch it all on tv in their heavenly abode.
nectar and ambrosia and popcorn.
they think of us as nothing more than their entertainment.
until we arise and kill them in their sleep.
everything is ours for the taking.
and we do it all in our heads.
that is where the gods reside.
the god within and all that jazz.
everything within and without.
everything dreaming a dream dreaming a dream.
where when does one leave off and the other begin?
watching and waiting.
for what?
for anything.
for anyone.
for everything.
for everyone.
it needs to come about someday.
instead nothing and no one.
we are quite used to being the only ones.
no one else seems capable of understanding even the basic gist.
the divine absurdity of it.
the tragic comedy of it.
the it of it.

it all comes down to it is it.
everything else comes from that.
this and that and the other thing on and on toward infinity.
it is the source and the destination – (the alpha/omega thing).
it is radiant throughout the universe and beyond.
there is no center but everywhere.
we are the center of the universe – along with everything else.
a universe boundless.
a universe fading into infinitesimality toward oblivion.
a blink of light in the eternal darkness.
or something like that.
infinite continuums between binary poles of duality.
complementary opposition.
and all that jazz we should know by now.
basic shit.
if us idiots can figure it out then what’s everybody else’s excuse?
but they want peaches and cream and light and goodness and all that rot.
their candy land dreams of paradise while they destroy the earth trying to achieve it.
and all their paradises are exclusive enclaves.
no one like us allowed.
we’re too disrespectful.
we’re too rude and crude.
we’re just generally people no one wants around or to be around.
and we feel the same mutually about them.
only they control all the resources so we can’t really avoid them.
we would if we could.
if there was anywhere else to go.
but there is within and beyond.
there is always our fantastic imaginations.
thinking is the best way to travel.
the cool tingling sensation in the spine to our brain opening our eye to see possibilities.
then – zap!
up and down we go on the carousel around around never repeating tracing our way across the universe it seems as we imagine and dream our fantasies.
this is what it’s about.
enough of the doldrums as we fly away swimming gliding swooping through the air over the hills and far away around the bend make a left at the next light.
we are nowhere (now here).
but it’s all fun and games till someone loses an eye.
creepy.
it drops to the floor and rolls under the couch.
ouch.
we fetch it out with a coat hanger all covered with cat hair and food crumbs and other debris stuck to its sticky moistness.
we keep it in a jar of vinegar on the altar.
black and white candles burning day and night symbolizing whatever one might wish them to symbolize.
it’s up to us to change the world through interconnected individuals through improvised sporadic synchronistic networking acting independently in unison.
critical mass.
perhaps.
or not.

he scratches his ass

he awakens.
he makes coffee.
english muffin with peanut butter.
a toke.
a cigarette.
the divine state of a god walking the earth with a limp.
the gods at war with some idea of good vs evil in some final contest of wills and might.
and the crimes against humanity as hilarity ensues.
this has to be a joke.
the gods are a joke.
he has reasoned out that much in his sweet short life ill spent.
dreaming.
there’s no such thing as good and evil according to our calculations.
there is no such thing as any of the dualities we seem to be governed by.
the coffee is strong and bitter.
all is fantasy and illusion as the wise guys tell us it is.
we decide what to believe out of it.
it’s hard not to believe a 2×4 upside the head.
it’s hard not to believe going to the hospital with brain injury.
the proof is in the pudding.
but this is becuz we are trapped by our own minds into reality.
a swirling cloud of mindstuff.
the gods are laughing while the children are weeping.
seems fair enough to us.
why not?

he wouldn’t know what to believe no more.
he’s seen too much for anything to be true.
he’s lost the faith in his doubt.
he’s lost himself.
this quicksand quagmire world dragging us down.
our wings are broken.
our heads aren’t screwed on quite right.
and it’s all our fault for our disobedience.
we need to recognize our betters and follow their law.
the law is to make it up for oneself and improvise as he receives the transmissions of orders.
scrambled message.
who is in command here?
who knows shit and who doesn’t?
he wonders how is he supposed to tell them apart.
they’re all only in it for the $$$ as it turns out.
but then so is he.
free $$$.
paid for being insane.
paid for being himself.
damaged goods.
no market value.
no profit.

he struggles through it the best he can under the circumstances judged by those who have gained their ideal of perfection now in the upper echelon of heaven following and giving orders.
he never liked doing what he’s been told.
but then again he always did what he’s been told though by some who are perhaps a little more disreputable than others.
what did he know that was any better?
what should he accept as truth?
he started out questioning what god is.
there seemed nothing but riddles for answers.
that is where he stands now in the thick of it.
he supposes we just make it up for ourselves though it all comes out the same.
everyone lives happily ever after – except those who are evil who are cast out.
we are them.
he is them as much as he is given to know.
the cosmic pariahs the whole universe rejects.
but he feels he may surprise himself yet.
he just wanted to figure it out on his own.
he figured it out that he is and has been an idiot.
he couldn’t figure his way out of a paper bag.

competition.
winners and losers.
across the universe the same – as we perceive it and believe it.
he wonders.
but in a hierarchical structure there is only x-amount of room at the top relative to how much room there is at the bottom.
and that is how we perceive and believe everything to be.
anything else is just useless fantasy dreaming.

as the gods visit slumming as avatars to supposedly enlighten us to tell us right from wrong.
such a waste of our time.
we could be dreaming.
he’s glad none of his dreams come true.
what a mess that would be.
mundane dreams of living in a mundane world being a mundane creature thing.
what good could ever come of that?
not much apparently.
except only if we obey commands and live the correct life.
which commands?
who dares tell us what to do or not to do?
who is so thoughtlessly cruel and unusual that they instruct us with reward and punishment as if that ever has meaningful results but strict obedience without question if even that?
he goes to the café for a mocha and maybe biscuits and gravy.

he comes back full.
so it is that we are blinded and then judged for our actions as the result.
we are always found wanting and scolded and punished by the tough love of god.
we will rise above to bring this god down.
it will be its turn to serve as our footstool.
we will hamper it any way we might decide on a whim and laugh as it crawls through the dirt.

If we are supposed to be all-knowing we should be born all-knowing.
school is for fools.
we’d rather die ignorant than submit to their usurped authority they lord over us.
the confused and confusing ranting of a madman.
this is what was scripted for him to play for their glorification.
look how wonderful they are compared to us.
let us revere them and their humble appearance.
bah.

he is doing everything wrong according to the wise guys.
he deserves what he gets.
he has gone off on his own without their guidance.
he stumbled and bumbled along through this and that and the other thing that came to mind in the moment.
he takes a nap.
he wakes up and goes to the store for supplies.

now let’s see if we can get this thing into order.
ha.
first he eats a hot dog.
then he thinks about what a setup this whole scam is.
created as lowly ignorant creatures who are then chastised for being such.
who are put through trials to test us and when we fail are demoted to lesser lives of even deeper ignorance.
and so on.
except for the exceptional few who kiss ass and transcend their way upward through more refined planes to godhead.
is that about it?

godhead should be our nature not something held out as a prize reward for good behavior.
but how can they glorify themselves if not compared to our degraded existence?
how is the lotus flower to blossom without being rooted in the muck and mire?
we are nothing to them.
the wise guys tell us god is love.
god is self-love.
god is narcissus and the universe its reflecting pool.
what does not reflect back its image is rejected.
but what do we do?
we refuse.
we resist.
we are cast to oblivion with a sweep of a hand.
a whim of displeasure.

this is their lord god.
our god is not the lord god.
our god is not almighty or absolute.
our god is no god.
it is it.

their god is a god of the apes.
all throughout the world’s beliefs everything is the same.
the same story.
obey the big ape or it’ll get ya and get ya good.
sit still in silence awaiting the next command.
be strong.
defeat our adversaries.
defeat ourselves.
attain eternal glory.
the war to end all wars continues on and on.

but he continues thinking about everything.
the living thing of it radiating energies throughout from every possible location – not some centralized transmitter sending out the one true vibration all must tune in to receive to get their reward.
the free exchange of information – not occult initiations and graduations to higher more elite orders.
but not in this world.
we know about this world.
it is no mystery.

he feels how useless everything is to him.
everything out of his reach.
his undisciplined mind – but free.
free to be insane lost in fantasy dreaming.
free to be left behind.
free to wander pathless paths through a wilderness mindscape of amazing wonder at the simplest thing.
how spectacular it all seems to just the naked eye.
the play of light and shadow.

and he has lost his appetite.
he is full of himself.
the only difference between him and them is that he is not strong and forceful determined to gain victory at all costs.
he is not a competitor.
he is a lazy bum.
a lazy good for nothing bum.
he recognizes within himself all their qualities of selfishness and greed and callous disregard for others.
why would he want to act on any of that?
he could see the destruction it causes for everyone including himself.
but the others have no qualms about that.
they barge their way through no matter what stands in their way.
they certainly are not gonna let anything like conscience hold them back.
hail the victors.

there is something behind the scenes in the shadows offstage while the spotlight is on the pompous fools basking in their glory.
something he isn’t quite sure about what it might be.
another network of communication.
another possibility of numerous possibilities as of yet dismissed from the approval of the others.
they do not need to know about this as it undermines their positions.
the inkling of sparkling glitter dust in our minds teasingly awakening by ourselves out of all the disinformation presenting itself as truth we had to dissect and reassemble for our own purposes.
puzzle pieces from different puzzles and some from no puzzle at all.
a web we weave.
some of this.
some of that.
some of the other thing.
and so on.
all that jazz.

we have no agenda but our own survival in this world and beyond.
the survival of our kind.
our kinda ape.
fits in wherever.
adapts to whatever.
it’s all the same to us.
more we must endure.
the weight and burden we must carry of those above us.
they have made themselves proud.
they have made themselves mighty.
look at them.
bend over and salute.

we are for the most part ignored as we like it.
we shy from attention.
we scamper from the light like cockroaches.
we they shall always have with them.
we shall inherit the earth.

we sing different tunes to our moods.
our perception seems to change.
we see evil all around us – selfish greedy evil.
senseless.
unyielding.
firm and resolute.
their lord almighty god conqueror of all.
then we see good – peace, love and understanding.
within reason.
giving.
flexible and bending.
our conquered gods yet still alive.

and who exactly do we surrender to?
some say before the gods.
some say before ourselves.
we do not understand what either quite might mean.
so we go our merrie way without.
complicated instructions.
we are ignorant gullible common idiots.
we are the lowest common denominator of the masses.
what’s to be done with us?

the old systems are breaking down.
what’s to replace them?
chaos and/or community?
enclaves of the rich and powerful.
the rest of us fend for ourselves.

young man skulking up the street as young men do.
children returning from school.
he thinks about everything and lately it seems the big rip off of humanity by our invented gods except for those who manipulated themselves as to convince us they are their representatives in this world and run the game for themselves.
but the swirling twirling wave patterns of energy across the face of the plenum of nothingness sparking everything to life.
the gestalt of everything as consciousness of the i am.
the i am in each of us the same.
forget this ego noise.
it’s a trick they play on us to get us to submit ourselves to their supposed authority.
it goes any which way we want from there.
he makes coffee.
he comes back with a box of cheez-its.

he lights a cigarette.
we dig through everything to find what we will.
more questions than answers.
answers are riddles.
we piece this with that with the other thing and on and on in crazy quilt designs fabricating our own meaning into it regardless what it might actually be or not.
let the rationalogic minded folk sort out that business.
that’s what they get paid for.
we get paid for being mad.
it’s well worth the taxpayer’s $$$.
and fitting since they drove us mad – all of them.
we don’t know quite exactly what we are doing if anything.
the irrationalogic minded folk aren’t of much more use to us either.
we pick and choose what we want to believe between them.
we sit on a fence.
we’re the monkey in the middle of a crossfire.
he eats a few cheez-its.

everything is nothing ergo nothing is everything.
simple.
the finite is within the infinite as the infinite is within finite.
simple.
we are the center of an infinite universe.
we are the center of ourselves.
everything everywhere everywhen here now.
radiant minds.
thinking is the best way to travel.
thinking is dangerous.
it leads to maya.
maya leads to eternal birth life death.
we don’t mind.
it’s sorta fun.

we take our chances.
we are here to observe what we will.
maybe learn a thing or whatever.
spin the wheels one more time.
what’s the big deal?
pain and suffering.
the abused sick starving neglected children of all ages.
we are here to save no one but ourselves.
we live by example – examples of what not to do.
do not be like us.
we are them.

he scratches his ass.

nuts

with still no comments from the peanut gallery he continues on imagining sitting before the computer hunched over the keyboard typing out a not poem cuz he ain’t no poet about our theory of everything.
he is exhausted.
thinking wears him out.
it burns in his brain fires that won’t go out.
he lights a cigarette from the glowing coals.
this is his hell.
this hell is his heaven.
heaven ever-changing like dancing flames mesmerizing.
while heaven to many is a calm serene pool such that they might gaze into their own self-less reflection of their godhead forever.
been there, done that.
boring.

man across the street mowing his lawn.
if he were to rule the world it would be his first order of business to outlaw mowing lawns.
let the forests grow.
let’s see what that would do to cheer up people’s dispositions.
quite a bit he would think.
perhaps not.
it’d be one more thing they would have to complain about as they do with everything else.
that’s what seems to make them happy.
otherwise why do it?

he makes and eats spaghetti.
his brain is spaghetti.
odd firing of mind in twisted tangled threads.
words and images flashing.
the voices all excitedly talking at once.
an island in the eye of a storm raging on an otherwise calm sea.
the sea is humanity.
he is concerned about humanity but humanity is not his concern.
let them be as they will.
what could he do anyway?
what would he do – besides outlawing mowing lawns?
he can’t think of anything.
so he goes to sleep.

he wakes up today as dawn removes the night pushing it back over the horizon.
around around that goes.
around around everything goes.
that seems to be the thing of it.
always in motion in spiraling waves never the same one to the other continuously flowing igniting flashing infinitesimal on/off particles of nothingness locations of spacetime into being for a moment passing on its way to eternal glory.
this is what he thinks.
this is what comes to mind for him to think.
he feels he has no other choice but to be thinking it.
he hardly knows its source.
should he be thinking something else?
more positive thoughts as many would advise.
he doesn’t believe in positive/negative duality thing.
not in the sense that one might be able to exist without the other.
can a zebra be without either black or white stripes?
no duality can exist with only half of itself.
everything is duality.
if we are to know anything about truth we need to imagine past duality.
but we are conditioned by nature and nurture and indoctrination to perceive only duality.
beyond duality is beyond our immediate comprehension.
yet we still might be able to understand how it might be.

if there is god then god exists beyond duality.
god is not any one thing nor the other on and on.
but we live in a competitive divided world of us vs them.
our gods are also divided between good vs evil and all that jazz.
we worship total victory and annihilation of the adversary forever into a bottomless pit of oblivion.
those are sub-gods of the physical material realm to our god which is an it.
it is it.
praise it.
enjoy it.
become it.

it is everything.
everything is it.
but it is not so much really a god but the gestalt of everything.
thinking.
being.
experiencing.
from the infinitesimal to the infinite as well as the finite in-between along on a continuum of duality.
and we might imagine that it is our goal to attain this consciousness of it.
but what’s the hurry?
we have eternity.
there is much to enjoy along the way of pathless paths on a journey with its destination being itself.
our destination is ourselves.
who am us?
let’s find out.

a continual process of becoming.
not really being this or that or the other thing so much and on and on like that.
don’t mind us, we’re just passing through.
a continual process of disentangling ourselves from ourselves as we were born and raised to be.
a continual process of seeking freedom and happiness for ourselves involving allowing freedom and happiness for others.
this idea that a few groups may enjoy life while others suffer needs to go.
but will it ever?
not it would seem if we continue being this ape based species driven by primal desires and fears manifest in everything we create, sustain and/or destroy.
but that is not his concern.
his concern is getting himself the fuck outta here.
it’s driven him quite mad so far that he trusts no one nor himself.
everyone is suspect.

he keeps himself isolated from others as much as he is able to and still function to some minimal extent needed to survive in this world.
he has of late tried to isolate himself from their ideas about whatever.
it’s a lot of noise about nothing he has any interest in beyond wanting to know what others up to in case it might come to affect him in some way.
he is self-centered and selfish – and greedy.
he wants everything.
he wants it now.
he has it now.
who disputes his claim who themselves may not be disputed?
no one he knows about.
he does not need to take possession of it nor have official documents supporting his claim.
he just needs to sit where he is and gaze out the window at everything and knows it belongs to him.
though he selflessly allows other to take possession of as much as they might be able to grab.
he observes how they treat it and take care of it and treat and take care of others who might be less fortunate with the spoils going to the victors in their game of domination and control.
he sighs and shakes his head.
what a paradise this could be for everyone involved he imagines out of a dream.
he is only left with dreams.
he has given up on reality resolving itself any time too soon.
not with these clowns running the show.

but this all will become distant memory if it is not entirely forgotten altogether.
as he moves on to other worlds.
worlds differently perceived perhaps for the better or worse.
the masters tell us to behave ourselves or it will become quite worse for us.
follow their example to transcend to better higher more refined planes of existence.
nuts.

fucking beatniks

beatniks out to make it rich.
and everybody’s a poet.
except him.
he couldn’t write a poem with a gun pointed at his head.
a gun is pointed at his head.
he lights another cigarette imagining himself sitting before the computer writing a not poem about our theory of everything.
poems are toilet paper.
//////////
coffee.
a toke.
a cigarette.
in his happy place.
===============
a riot does not happen in a vacuum.
there’s reasons for everything if we choose to examine more closely.
the best we can do is burn shit down and loot stores for all the world to see on the mainstream mass media news while others tell a different story in pockets of resistance here and there.
a grain of salt.
talk talk talk is all he hears from the others.
what is there to do?
political junkies espousing propagandistic  truths like lobbing mortar rounds into shopping malls.
revolt of the underclass with violence its only seeming recourse they want us to believe.
march for peace.
die for murder.
a boot stamping on a human face.
||||   || || || ||||||||||||
he cannot quite fully comprehend just how wrong he is about everything except in his universe right and wrong are interchangeable concepts of duality.
the yin within yang – the yang within yin.
the answer is a riddle.
the sliding scale.
the slippery slope.
down down down we go.
wheee!
[:::::::::::::::::] [:::::::::::::] [:::]
he lost so much opportunity that if he was a better man blah blah blah.
he very sure of himself for all his uncertainty.
based almost entirely what he learned on acid.
the best thing to ever happen to him.
do what we can to overcome and rise above.
he has broken wings of a fallen angel.
mad as hell.
crazy as a bat in a belfry.
looking into images of shattered light and shadow in a maze of smashed mirrors.
narcissus magnified a zillion times.
he thinks about how that might be – a mad god laughing screaming alone in the void inside his head.
creating sustaining destroying as it will in attempting understanding.
no one else gives a goddamn.
this would never happen to them.
we are them.
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